My students have often asked me, “What astrology profile would be an ideal partner for me?”
“Can looking at my charts and PA profile help me with my romantic choices?”
The short answer is yes and no.
Above all, an understanding of astrology can help you understand yourself. As part of that, it can help you understand your relationships.
However, what I’m going to say next is probably going to surprise you…
No, your astrological profile alone is actually not the best basis for entering romantic relationships.
I’ve seen this a lot when I have collaborated with dating agencies or with matchmakers…
You want someone similar to you when it comes to romantic relationships…
It feels the most comfortable that way. More than anything, that’s why you want someone similar – for it to be easier.
It can feel like hard work to have to manage differences within a relationship. It feels less comfortable having to adapt to being with someone who is different.
Now, let me break the idea of having similarities versus differences from a psychological perspective.
When you have two people whose profiles are quite similar, there can be an easy attraction between these two people. Initially, matching with that person can feel really good.
Being with that person provides you with a sense of comfort.
However, the irony is that conflict can actually show up when you match based on your similarities.
The problem is that you have likely brought an extreme expectation into the partnership.
“This person is just like me.”
That becomes an issue when you realize that they are not 100% like you. Over time, differences emerge between people. Even with similar profiles, there can be wide gaps in your approach within certain areas.
When you match with someone based on thinking that they were identical to you, these differences can lead to disappointment.
Those expectations can let you down when it turns out the other person doesn’t actually have the exact same views and interests as you do.
For instance, let’s say you like to travel and your partner likes to travel. When you actually travel together, you could realize that your idea of “travel” is quite different.
You agreed on traveling to the country but you want to explore different corners of it. You want to focus on the capital city’s food and shopping.
Their idea of traveling is exploring outside the city and hiking in the mountains.
In these situations, a real disappointment can set in.
Those differences over something you thought should be the same become where relationship breakdowns can happen.
These unexpected differences create a distance between you that cannot always be solved.
The result is that at least one person within the partnership starts to feel a bit stuck.
“Oh…but I thought you had the same view as me…”
The truth is that these assumptions and expectations can actually be quite damaging.
Looking at it from this perspective, conflicts that show up between people who are similar are sometimes worse than between people who knew they had differences from the outset of the relationship.
When you match with someone based on their astrological or personality similarity to you, the assumptions and expectations you are bringing into that relationship can lead to a great deal of frustration within that partnership.
On the other hand, when you pair with somebody who is very different from you, your expectation is already that their views are going to be different.
Differences in opinion don’t set up an opportunity for disappointment. In fact, there can even be an appreciation for the differences that another person brings to the table.
For example, a partner who is “the boring one” may admire the creativity in the other.
They may wish they could come up with such innovative out of the box travel ideas when they are planning that trip.
They wouldn’t have been able to think of those ideas on their own.
Similarly, maybe the creative one who had the idea wouldn’t have traveled there on their own though.
Yet, when together, they’re able to make great memories.
Partnerships between opposites can actually make some of the best partnerships, in romance as much as in work.
I’ve seen this among many of my students who have fulfilling partnerships with their opposites.
These partnerships can actually help you make the most out of each of your own strengths while gaining a positive outcome by being together.
From this perspective, pairing with someone unlike yourself can be viewed as working together to explore your combined potential.
You are opening yourself up to personal growth opportunities beyond what you are capable of on your own.
Of course, as in any partnership, your goals would also need to align for that to happen.
Without goal alignment, you won’t reach a positive outcome, whether or not someone is similar or different from you.
It comes down to asking yourself what you really want.
“Do you want your romantic partnership to contribute to positive outcomes? Or are you purely seeking the comfort of being in a partnership?”
Oftentimes when people simply want the comfort of a relationship, they choose matches that feel comfortable based on similarities.
Later, when they’re unable to align on everything, it feels less comfortable when they aren’t reaching positive outcomes.
Surprisingly, many of the disappointments and frustrations within relationships are less about the actual alignment and more about the assumptions and expectations you attached to the relationship at the very beginning.
While I’m not a matchmaker or relationship counsellor, I can say that from a pure psychology perspective, open communication with any partner is always important.
Whether you are attracted to someone for their similarities or differences, differences between you will inevitably emerge.
And open communication can help expose any expectations and assumptions.
While I would not specifically profess to use astrology as the pure basis for entering or exiting romantic relationships, Psychological Astrology can help you understand your relationships.
PA provides you with added tools and knowledge to first understand yourself and secondly understand yourself within any of your life’s partnerships.
When you understand your own Astrological chart and Psychological Astrology profile, you’ll better understand your own motivations, strengths and weaknesses.
This will ultimately help you explore meaning in any of your partnerships.
So if you find yourself asking questions about your relationships, looking at your astrological charts and PA can certainly provide you with a wealth of insights and bring a welcome new perspective to the table.
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