Why Do Astro-Perfect Partners Seldom Work Out?

What Are Astro-Perfect Partners?

With pop astrology, it is very common to see that the internet is filled with websites and astrology love calculators that allow you to put in your birth details along with another person’s birth details and then it will tell you the compatibility of these two people. The report often looks like; these people are 63% compatible, or that it is just a low 13.4% compatibility rate, etc.

There are also other forms of romantic analysis, especially if you’ve mugged around on the internet to see websites to tell you to check out the Venus & Mars planets or to do things like Synastry, etc.

If you’re still young and perhaps active in the dating scene, I can see why it’s somewhat tempting or attractive for you to check these things out to try to get the other person’s birth data to see if you match or what is the compatibility like.

So I guess this produces a lot of what we call classic Relationship Astrology techniques that you get off the internet.

If a person fits or seems to just tick all the boxes based on the astrology charts, it is what’s defined as an ‘Astro-Perfect Partner.

However, this can be quite disappointing for the parties if the relationship doesn’t quite work out even though seemingly the charts state otherwise.

“I’m a Virgo and he’s a Taurus. That’ll work out right?” 

I remember someone once came up to me to ask me this question. She knew I was an Astrologer, and because she had read that her being a Virgo and her then partner was a Taurus, thinking that the relationship would work out because both were in Earth signs that they care about the same things such as being grounded, stability, material-oriented ,etc.

Yes, I agreed with her that both of them would care about similar things but that doesn’t always necessarily mean that the relationship would work out. She was sceptical of my response and didn’t quite agree, as she was still infatuated with her partner then.

Unfortunately, the relationship didn’t quite last in the end and both of them broke up later.

Debunking the myths and explaining the astrology techniques  

In this article, I’ll explain some of these techniques you find on the internet and websites, to show you what are they, why they work and conversely why they don’t. Also, I’ll be including some insights from my experience as a Professional Astrologer from seeing clients in actual consultations.

My personal experience

I’ve been happily married for years now. But when I first initially started out learning astrology, I was still single and dating. Like most singles, I was going out on dates with people. Because I wasn’t didn’t keep my interest in astrology a secret, my dates knew and often they were fascinated. Most of the guys that I’ve gone on dates with were more than happy to pass me their birth information to see if we were a good match.

As a side note to those of you who are trying to learn astrology on the side and are afraid that people might judge you for it, I can assure you that will probably not be the case. If you’re open and honest about it, most people are willing to share their information with you as it’s a benefit to them as well if you’re explaining their charts to them. However, if you’re trying to read their charts in secret behind their backs, it could be the reason why trying to get birth information from them might be a challenge for you.

So whenever I saw from the chart of someone that I’ve met, that indicated a seemingly ‘good match’ that ticked all the boxes, I definitely can relate to the experience of having a feeling of euphoria. But when the relationship didn’t quite work out, there’s the feeling of upset, disappointment and quite puzzling why the charts stated otherwise.

Technique #1: Applying Compatible Signs?

The number one technique that you’ll probably find online is to look at the Compatible Sun Signs. Well, it’s one of the easiest techniques to apply cause it’s simple to just see; “I’m a Sagittarius, and you’re an Aries, Oh, that’s great! That means we’re compatible.”

This technique is also popular because most people know their Sun Signs based on their birthdays.

The myth online is that signs which belong to the same element, tend to favour one another. So for example, if your sign is in a fire element, you will kind of want to date somebody who’s also a fire element. There’s a lot to be said for compatible Sun Signs, because at the very least, you know, it puts people in in general tandem with each other.

So if you are a person who’s socially connected and enjoys a mental connection with another, the assumption is that you’ll require a partner who is similarly as connected as you are. However, what’s interesting is that you’ll find that this combination often results in people being good friends instead of suitable partners.

Take a look at solid partnerships and happily married couples, you’ll notice that if you experiment and examine their Sun Signs, many couples might seem to be in incompatible signs.

Barack and Michelle Obama

I’ll be quoting a couple of examples, and the first is Barack Obama and Michelle Obama.

Barack Obama is a Leo, no surprise that he’s the shining guy, he’s warm, and he’s friendly. People love him as he’s got that sort of kingly demeanour about him.

Whereas, Michelle Obama is a Capricorn. She exudes the typical business-woman look, she does not give you the impression that she’s down for nonsense, and you will not want to mess with her. It wouldn’t be surprising if someone were to tell you that she’s a successful female CEO of a large company.

You don’t usually expect Leo’s and Capricorns to be a good match, because they don’t share an element. One is a Fire Sign (Leo) the other is an Earth Sign (Capricorn). If you apply your usual online internet sort of astrology to match the Sun Signs, it wasn’t really expected to work. Michelle would find Obama very childish, he would be not necessarily somebody who thinks for the long term, he is not grounded, he wants too much attention doesn’t really get work done. For the Leo in Barack, he’ll find that Michelle is being too uptight all the time and not being able to let loose, to have fun.

Despite this and applying what internet’s version of Compatible Sun Signs, the pair is very happily married and the marriage seems to work out without any hiccups.

Lee Kuan Yew and Kwa Geok Choo

Now, another good example is Singapore’s founding father Lee Kuan Yew was a Virgo and his wife Kwa Geok Choo was a Sagittarius – regrettably, both of them have since passed.

This combination according to the internet, is worst of all, both of these signs are Mutable signs, which forms an aspect (Square) in Astrology charts. The basic concept of the Square aspect is that the signs do not get along and that you would piss each other off.

Geok Choo the Sagittarius would come across as a big-picture, macro-oriented person, while Kuan Yew would be more focused on the smaller picture, and more detail-oriented, which most Singaporeans will agree.

But, most Singaporeans will also agree that their marriage had been utterly awesome. If you’ve seen how these two people talk about each other in interviews, you can tell that there’s so much respect for the abilities of each other. Kuan Yew might have been Prime Minister of Singapore but he’s made clear that at home, his wife is in charge.

From the two couple examples, there’s no denying that the couple might still have disputes or see things from very different perspectives, but you can see that there’s an unspoken admiration for the other person and how the partners are different from them. These are fairly enduring sort of relationships that seem to work.

Going beyond the Sun Signs

If I was just a beginner to astrology, there was a tendency to believe these internet columns wholesale, describing if I was a Taurus, that I would have to marry somebody who was really steady, with a steady paycheck and likely to be a boring sort of guy. I would agree to a certain extent that my husband is quite boring and does the same thing over and over again.

Surprisingly, the catch is that my husband is a videographer and runs his own business – unlike what the columns would describe. He is self-employed, meaning he takes on the risk of not exactly having a steady salaried paycheck.

My Sun Sign may be in Taurus, however, many other things can be read from my chart.

I do have a bit of fire in my chart which explains why I like to see a bit of fire and creativity in a man. My Dominant Archetype™ (astrology technique proprietary to Selfstrology) is in Capricorn, which means that I can appreciate the entrepreneurial spirit. If we were to take a more comprehensive view of the entire chart not just based on the Sun Sign, it would explain why I find my husband as an attractive partner.

Consider that many people don’t really know enough astrology beyond the Sun Sign to determine the real compatibility between partners.

Technique #2: The Overestimated Planets: Venus and Mars

The planets Venus and Mars often get too much hype when it comes to looking at charts for relationships. And I can see why because Venus is the planet of love and Mars is the planet of sex. Of course, these planets do describe the basic attraction criteria especially, when dating or hooking up with someone.

Venus can indicate people who have the same interests, and who have the same approach to love. It explains why some people prefer to be more demonstrative, emotional, or more reserved. It could be a little bit tricky or dicey sometimes if people have what they call a ‘different love language’.

In my experience, if a person is looking beyond just the superficial criteria to get to a mature relationship, you have to look beyond just the Venus and Mars planets. If two people are in a long-term relationship, it is letting your partner know how they want to be loved, rather than whether or not you have the same styles. Should your partner prefer gifts or acts of service, you can always give them despite not being much of a gift person yourself.

Current society’s view on what a ‘good relationship’ is coloured by what we see on social media, pornography and a bunch of stuff that doesn’t really give a great foundation for what a healthy long-term relationship should look like.

Using The Other Planets: Moon and Mercury

Instead, if you are looking for traits and qualities for a mature long-term relationship, the planets you should be looking at are the Moon and Mercury.

The Moon describes more accurately the domestic compatibility of people, which applies more to the daily routine and learning to live with one another.

Stating an example of newlyweds, prior to their marriage, they were having great sex and romance but when they start living together, they start to fight and argue. Life became more about cleaning up the home, washing the bedsheets and buying toilet paper from the supermarket. Is your idea of domestic life similar and can you live with the other person?

The other important planet to look at is Mercury, the planet for communication. Despite the words of wisdom; “Communication Is Key”, many couples underestimate the influence it has on the compatibility in a relationship. When couples can talk or communicate with one another, the misunderstandings, feelings of loneliness, of feelings that the partner ‘doesn’t get you’ are less likely to be a problem.

I’ve personally seen relationships pass the point of salvation and guaranteeing the end of the relationship when couples decide that they can’t talk to each other any more. It is the end when there is no longer any room for people to give a damn about what the other person is thinking.

Both the Moon and Mercury, are way more important than just Venus and Mars, in a long-term relationship for sure.

Technique #3: The Underestimated Planets: Jupiter and Saturn

There are another two planets that seem to be rather underestimated – Jupiter and Saturn.

Jupiter is things like your beliefs, and your convictions, so that includes everything from religion to your benchmark for what is ethical and what’s not ethical. Not to be underestimated, these can be the reasons that drive couples apart.

Sometimes it’s as simple as outright religion, maybe one person is a Christian and the other person isn’t. However, there’s an expectation that they should go to church together but the non-Christian partner is unwilling to do so, which causes a disagreement between the two.

When it comes to ethics, the example could be that the husband got a slight benefit as a result of taking advantage of other people and that the wife demands that the husband apologise. When the husband refuses to apologise, the wife feels that she cannot stay married to a man who does unethical things like that. I’ve seen, some of my clients have marriages that crumble because of a vast difference in ethical standards.

The planet Saturn deals with things like duty, responsibility and stability. It determines your capacity to do the right thing even though it’s not fun and not enjoyable.

It is like in a situation where the wife sprains her ankle while on a holiday, where the husband then now is faced with a decision whether to not waste the holiday and go out on his own to enjoy or to stay in the room together and accompany his wife, by watching movies or ordering room service. And when the husband has the maturity to decide that it’s his duty and responsibility to stay with his wife in the room, while still enjoying the company of the wife on holiday, shows his commitment to his partner.

So Saturn is often doing what’s necessary to make the relationship work and be a great couple.

As you can see, both planets Jupiter and Saturn are pretty important to a relationship and partnership between two people. It can often result in deal-breakers and signify the end of a relationship if these traits are not aligned. The planets Jupiter and Saturn don’t always come up in the topic of relationships on websites, hence, it usually touches on very superficial traits that don’t accurately describe what’s REALLY important between partners.

Technique #4: Psychological Reframing of ‘Suitability’

“I’m looking for a partner that has to fit in with who I am and the way I want my relationship”

Consider that what you see in the phrase above comes from a more selfish perspective and the unwillingness to accommodate. It is more convenience-oriented seeking more for ‘a person who is perfect for me, and perfect for what I want in a relationship’.

But the thing is that you should be loved for who you are, there isn’t a need for you to change just to conform to your partner.

If you are a person with a loud personality, I’m not suggesting that you become soft and meek just to suit your partner.

Rather, it is recognising that you can still be loud and yet appreciate your partner for being nice and soft. It’s a mutual appreciation of the other person and loving the other for who they are, which is sort of like returning the favour.

There isn’t a need for you to find someone’s who very similar to you that fits exactly. The whole idea is that a partnership is where you’re covering for what the other person isn’t great at.

When you see couples who are very different in personalities yet are deeply in love, you can observe a great sense of mutual appreciation for the other person, knowing that it might take a lifetime for them to learn more about the other person.

Why knowing what you read online is important?

So much of internet astrology is about checking out the partner to see whether they’re ‘okay’ or not.

But from this article today, you can see that perhaps the information that you get isn’t really complete. To get to a real accurate profile for relationships and compatibility, it requires:

1. you to look at way more planets than just Venus and Mars,
2. a different perspective on how you see things and lastly
3. getting past your own personal psychological barriers to make a relationship work

You will need a much better understanding of the different planets and their influence on how they shape our personalities, the way that we think and our perspectives.

A structured education in astrology, provides you the understanding of all the planets (not only those discussed in this article), how different parts of you make up your personality, with real-life context and applications without the need to memorise tons of keywords.

Join me as I take you through this self-discovery process in deeply understanding yourself. Objectively, identify what your natural traits are, what do you need/contribute for a relationship to work and break past personal psychological obstacles that stand in the way for you to achieve what you want.

Click on the link here to find out more about how you can get started with applying astrology to your life.